On Thursday, July 8th at 7pm we sent our sweet Meeka on his final journey. Although we knew in our hearts it was the kindest gift we could give our beloved friend the pain for us is overwhelming.
Very recently Meeka was diagnosed with a mass in his abdominal region. Within a very short period of time it had grown extremely large. Rather than subject this proud boy to painful surgeries and treatments none of which came with any guarantees, we opted to bring him home where he belonged so that he could spend his final time with his pack. Sadly our time was very limited. We barely had time to come to grips with the reality of life without him. His mind was intact....his body was failing. I don't think there's anything more heart wrenching than that. I have to say that Meeka handled all of this much better than I. To the end he maintained his Alpha status and I could see the others communicating with him. It was subtle but it was there if you watched. They rarely left him alone yet respected his space, lying a few yards away.......ever watchful.
Our hearts are broken. The pain is tremendous. I feel him everywhere yet it's not a comfort yet. I want to reach out and pull him back to me. But I can't. I know that in time it will get easier. Every second feels like hours. I miss his gentle nature. I miss the way he took your breath away when you saw him. I miss his joy when you came through the door, even if you were only gone for 10 minutes.
The outpouring of kind words and prayers has been amazing. One never knows what to say when this happens. I read every email and message left, sometimes only a few at a time because my tears get in the way. I will save them all and will put them in his scrapbook. One of the most profound messages came from a close friend of mine. It's from a book called The Art Of Racing in the Rain, by Garth Stein. It is written from a dog's perspective:
"My life seems like it has been so long and so short at the same time. People speak of a will to live. They rarely speak of a will to die. Because people are afraid of death. Death is dark and unknown and frightening. But not for me. It is not the end.".......... "after a dog dies, his soul is released into the world around us. His soul is released to run in the world, run through the fields, enjoy the earth, the wind, the rivers, the rain, the sun, the - When a dog dies, his soul is released to run until he is ready to be reborn. "
For now I'll hold on to that thought. It will get me through the day. I thank all of you for loving Meeka as much as we did.